It’s really interesting. To look back on my life 3 years ago, and to compare it to now reveals much more than obvious changes that having children would entail. As my friends and family will no doubt confirm, I’ve always been fairly sensitive and a little over-emotional, reacting strongly to things unrelated to me that probably would not phase the average person. While I’ve often felt a slight sense of pride over this, it’s also made being around me an interesting adventure for those who know me.
Now however, my emotions have been cranked into overdrive, and it is not simply post-pregnancy hormones as my daughter is now 2 years old. Just 3 weeks ago, my husband had to accept a phone call from me, crying outside my office building in the middle of the work day, as I had just read a story on friend’s blog about her baby daughter that had me uncontrollably upset. I’ve discovered I simply can no longer hear stories of children in pain or distress of any kind. I suppose that would be an obvious button for anyone, but I’m facinated by how strongly my emotional reactions have changed.
Case and point, an online friend made a cry for help on her blog about a woman she knows whose daughter has a rare genetic disorder which will claim her life by the time she’s four. Her only wish is to take her daughter to see the ocean during her life, and the Make A Wish Foundation would not grant it because they claimed the daughter was too young to benefit from it. This blogger however decided that since she receives 500 visitors to her blog a day, she would set up a donation account on Pay Pal and ask visitors to donate any amount of money so they could fund the family of six to reach the East Coast. After reading her entry, I, for the first time in my life, made a €10 donation simply because I could not stop crying at the family’s hardship. Four years ago, I would have been very sad and would have felt for the family, but I can say with completely honesty, I probably would not have had as strong of a reaction.
Perhaps becoming a mother has made me a better person. :)
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March 13th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Ok, I’m actually going to take a risk here, and expose myself to a potential s***storm, but hey.
From the way you describe it, is your reaction truly that of a ‘better’ person?
Don’t take me wrong. I KNOW that becoming a mother has allowed you to grow as a person - I was there, I saw it happen! And, yes, giving your money to a cause like this one is good and proper and a sign of generosity. Fair play to you.
I’m just wondering if being so… overwhelmed with the feeling of sympathy and shared grief is a sign of, strictly speaking, betterment, rather than simply heightened sensitivity.
Or in other words: how much sensitivity do you need to be a better person?
Once again, I’m not attacking either your character or your reaction. This is more a general, philosophical question. Just something that struck me while reading your post. Feel free to ignore or remove this comment if you feel it’s out of place.
March 14th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Oh goodness, I know you’re not attacking me. I’m sure on the surface, making a statement like “becoming a mother made me a better person” is perhaps premature, or too general.
My conclusion was simply based on the observation that - unrelated to my emotional involvement - 3 years ago, I probably wouldn’t have made a donation. I’ve watched my father for years give every penny in his pocket at any given moment to charities at our doorstep or to the homeless in San Francisco and not because he’s a particularly charitable person, or out there campaigning for social change or volunteering his time, but simply because he figures, “Well, I don’t really need it all that much, maybe they can get some coffee.”
I’ve always admired that about him, and yet, I’ve never been able to do it as easily. I’ll occasionally tip a busker, or give money to the homeless as I’m passing when I’m in a particularly giving mood, but not really in general. And then there I was, donating to an online fund I pretty much new nothing about, simply because I was moved.
I unfortunately do not have quite the mental prowess to fully analyse and determine why or what it means. But it made a nice neat and concise ending to my blog post though… :)
March 14th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Haha! Yeah, I know what you mean - the urge to finish with a good ‘punchline’, so to speak!
All good then. And good for you indeed - I know I can’t give to anyone but my friends, and even them… I’m just not particulry generous I guess.
Well, whether it’s because of the munchkin or not, well done.
*Hugs*